This question struck me this week. I have been struggling with emotional eating and a wise friend asked me this when I explained that I kept getting confused between emotional hunger and physical hunger.
So often, it is just easier to rely on the comfort of old habits when I am feeling ‘needy’. God, that is an awful word, isn’t it? ‘Needy’. I have always thought about it as a character defect and not what it is; a feeling, a state of being without something I need. That is all.
What do I really need when I reach for the comfort of excess food? If only I would ask myself this more often and give myself permission to tend to that? Sure, I may want that extra serving, and there is nothing wrong with indulgences and increased appetite; but what am I missing out on when I suppress my real needs with food? ‘Life’, that is what.
I realized today that I am in a holding pattern in some important parts of my life. My life has fallen out of balance and I need to make a change. Up until now, I have felt bad about admitting that I want to move forward in my career. I want to give some of my time and energy to my new career and my business ideas.
Here is what I have learned again this week: when my relationship with food gets distressing, it is an opportunity to look inwards to find answers. The answers are not in my fridge, unfortunately.
On this occasion, I do need some outside help to help me make sustainable change and so I have not only set up a therapy session for this week but also I have asked a fellow life coach, who I happen to train with, to help me clarify my life’s priorities right now and make changes to bring my life back into a peaceful balance.
You may ask why I am seeking outside help to help me look inwards? Sounds backward, right? It isn’t though. I have learned through many an experience that talking something through with someone else can shine a light on what is really wrong. Oftentimes, others can hear what we are NOT aware we are saying. I personally find such helping professionals help me best; but, for others, it may be friends, neighbors or family members who see right to their soul.
I urge everyone who is struggling today, to pause, ask yourself what you really need and to talk it through with someone. My mother always said ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’. I say ‘a dream shared is a dream which can really come true’.
Aunty Pam x
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